Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize