kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
