i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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