I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
