Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We're too hungover to prance.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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