No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
no, he came in my armpit
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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