i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
