he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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