Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
