And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Never let your siblings swipe right.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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