I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Randomize
