Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
