Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
