plz talk dirty to me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
