I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
