if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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