yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
