Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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