I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
