Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my liver is dry heaving
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
