took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
