Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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