I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
