She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
is wine microwaveable?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
