Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
