Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
