Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
