i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
one might say we're banned from that church
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
