Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
