you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
