i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
