I want you more than these girls want KFC
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize