hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
