Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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