hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
