He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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