cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
