Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
