hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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