I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
