butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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