Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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