I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
NoShamevember. You game?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
