Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize