You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
