The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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