his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
