They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
