I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
