summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
