It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
