there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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