I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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