i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
