I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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