I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
