remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize