No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
