College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
