you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sext me about skeletons
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize