Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
