I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize