Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this just has baby written all over it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
