I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
